


I Almost Do

by AllTimeMelanie



Category: All Time Low (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 06:23:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21351682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllTimeMelanie/pseuds/AllTimeMelanie
Relationships: Jack Barakat/Alex Gaskarth
Kudos: 4





	I Almost Do

It's been about 5 years since Jack left me and honestly I don't even know how I'm coping without him. I still know everything about him because I doubt he's changed much. In my mind I still picture my 22 year old best friend but I know he's 27 and I'm going to be 28 in December. Obviously, we have both changed a lot. I pulled out my journal as I checked the time on the clock. Another night of no sleep honestly didn't faze me anymore as I got used to it. It was 2 am meaning Jack would still be up he was most likely drunk or at least the 22 year old him would be I wonder if he's matured any then again this is Jack I'm thinking about so most likely not.

It's Saturday so I bet he's tired from working at the Coffee shop on Thames Street. It was one of my favorite places to hang with Jack so I can't bring myself to walk back in there as the memories would consume and drown me. I wonder if I ever cross his mind. If he wonders if I moved on or am I still hating him for leaving me. Honestly the hate subsided an hour later then it was just this overwhelming sadness that I can't escape from. Cassadee says I'm depressed but then again when did I ever truly listen to her or Rian. They still talk to Jack and frequent with him a lot. I'm too scared to ask them who he's doing or if he even mentions me to see. I'm pretty sure Cass gives him updates on me.

I texted him once about two years into our split but he never responded. Then around the fourth year I bumped into him muttering a Hello which honestly killed me inside because I don't want to hear another "I'm sorry, Goodbye Alex." Sometimes I wonder if I'm better off without you and maybe I should pick myself up and play music, get a record deal maybe pull a Taylor Swift and use my songs to get over you. There's something that stops me every single time though.

On the nights, I do fall asleep or take enough medication to. My dream is always the same; it starts with me playing Grand Theft Auto on the Xbox. The doorbell rings, I open it to find the love of my life on the other side. He says "Alex baby. I'm so fucking sorry. I know I'm probably way too late but do you maybe want to try again?" Every time, I say yes because who wouldn't its Jack Barakat. Then I wake up and that's probably the worst feeling in the world. Two seconds ago you were touching my face and then I wake up to an empty bedroom. One time I even almost called you but I stopped myself before I could hit the "Call" button. Gosh, I wish that I could just tell you every single thought that has run through my head in these past 5 years. Maybe I'm better off.


End file.
